Subject: Private Eye
From: craig@yonder.equinox.gen.nz (Craig Shore)
Date: Thu, 03 Jun 1993 21:51:38 +1200

I am a private eye. There I was sitting in my New York Office. There was a
knock on the door which scared me half out of my secretary. My first case came
in and I polished off two bottles. I am so tough that I wear my clothes out 
from the inside. Suddenly a tall blonde walked past. I knew she was tall
because we were on the seventh floor. The phone rang and I knew something was
wrong because I don't have as phone. It was a girl and I knew something was
wrong because she told me there was. I raced down stairs and called a cab. The
cab stopped with a jerk. The jerk got out and I got in. The driver took the 
corner at eighty miles an hour. A cop stopped us and told us to put it back. We
kept on the footpath because there was a sign saying ``Keep Death Off The 
Roads''. Then we were out of the city, I knew this because we were not hitting
so many pedestrians. When we came to my clients house she greeted me with a
burning kiss. Then she took the cigarette out of her mouth and kissed me again.
She pointed two thirty eights at me, she also had a gun. She had the most 
beautiful blonde hair. It was the same on her head too. She had teeth like the
Ten Commandments - all broken. She had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.
In fact one eye was so beautiful that the other one couldn't stop looking at
it. There was a man on the floor. He had stab wounds to his heart, bullet 
wounds to his head, and his wrists were slashed. he was dead. It was one of 
the most determined cases of suicide I had ever seen. So I took her for a 
drive in the country and a brick came throung the window, hit her on the left 
tit, and broke four of my left hand fingers. We got a flat tyre and she pumped 
and I pumped and she pumped and I pumped and then we got out and fixed the 
tyre. Then I took her home and she invited me in for root beer. The root was
great but the beer was flat. I was giving her a goodnight kiss but she closed 
her legs and broke my glasses.

-- 
:: Craig Shore. Phone +64 3 385-6554  (Christchurch, New Zealand.)     ::
::     Be careful not to wake up the sleeping pills. - Captain Kreman. ::